In Search of Peace

Sitting at my desk at work on a Saturday morning,,,,all of the things I need to do at home are running thru my head. All of the things I should be doing here at work are not far behind,,,yet I sit here trying to come up with my first blog post.  In Search of Peace.  This says it all for me right now.

I am not married (although I have had a wonderful man in my life for 8 years).  I could say I don't have kids,,,but in a sense I do.  My children are my parents,,,my mom is 81 and my dad is 84.  I take care of them.  My boyfriend has 1 "child",,,she is 77,,,his mother, and he takes care of her.  So while we aren't the conventional family,,,,here we are, and this works for us!

I have always been amazed by all of my friends who are parents,,,all the running, homework, practices, games, griping, pre-teen hormones, life,,,etc.  I am truly in awe of what you all do on a daily basis, on top of your full time jobs.  Taking care of elderly parents is the same in a lot of aspects,,,they mess up the house during the day when I am gone, they are picky eaters, they don't mind and they talk back, and when I am going to be gone longer than just 1 day, I feel better with someone here to be with them, (my sister comes into town to take care of them),,,but they are mine and wouldn't trade them for anything!  Sound familiar?

Now my dad is pretty self sufficient,,he is 84 going on 48,,,works out 3 times a week, helps me with the laundry and takes care of my mom during the day when I am at work.  My parents have been married going on 62 years!  My mother, up until 5 years ago, could still run circles around all of us.  She would call me at work at 10 a.m., and had already done 2 loads of laundry, dusted, ran the sweeper, watered the yard and made breakfast,,and this was EVERY DAY!  But these days find her hardly being able to walk and having problems with her short term memory.  After lots of Dr's appts the past 2 months, and lots of bloodwork, I think we may be on an uphill climb again,,,getting her B12 deficiency under control, finding out she is diabetic and dealing with that and her severe anemia,,,(no wonder she was always exhausted and never wanted to get out of bed) and having  in home therapy for her twice a week to get her legs working again,,,I hope we can get her back to at least 75% again,,,I would be happy with that.  My dad has learned to make a mean sandwich, and even grilled steaks for himself and my mom last week (this is a big deal for my daddy!)

So yes,,,having "older children" is a lot like having young ones,,,but the biggest difference I see, is that the young kids have the rest of their lives in front of them,,,and my  kids, well,,,,,,not so much. 

So,,,,In Search of Peace is where I am right now.  Peace in knowing that I am doing all I can for my parents, their health, comfort and longevity.  Peace in knowing that taking care of myself right now is ok too,,,time with friends and time with my boyfriend are ok to throw in the mix, for my sake and sanity (and the sanity of my my parents,,cause who wants someone bossing them around all the time right?  :-)  )  And Peace in knowing that someday my life is going to be so much different than it is right now,,,and I am going to miss that.